A Story About Hope And Moisturiser

Three Weeks In. I've Come This Far

Three weeks ago I made a purchase that seemed entirely reasonable, at the time.

Anti-aging cream.

I want to be clear that I approached this somewhat scientifically, as far as I’m able.

I read the label.

It said “visibly reduces the signs of aging.” I have signs of aging.

This seemed like a straightforward transaction between me and my face.

I applied it every morning with the quiet confidence of a man who knows what he’s doing.

I’m still aging!

Not slowly. Not gracefully.

Normally, completely unbothered by the cream I keep applying every morning like some kind of optimistic ritual that my face has decided to ignore entirely.

Visibly, Was The Selling Point

I’ve been watching closely. Nothing is visible.

If anything my forehead has gotten worse, like it found out I was trying to interfere and decided to accelerate the whole process just to make a point.

My forehead has always had a confrontational streak. Makes sense.

I’d ask for a refund but of course, I can’t remember where I bought it.

Definitely related to aging.

Three Weeks No Results

My partner suggested I give it more time.

More time. To stop aging. While aging.

I explained that the label said visibly and that I had been watching visibly every morning for three weeks and that visibility wasn’t occurring.

She gave me the look she reserves for moments when she has decided engaging further is simply not worth the energy.

She’s been giving me that look a lot lately.

Possibly also related to aging.

I checked the small print. It says “results may vary.”

I would like to know whose results they used for the large print because that person and I are clearly having completely different experiences with this product.

Is This Really A Character Test?

Apparently some anti-aging creams take up to twelve weeks to show results.

Twelve weeks.

I am being asked to apply cream to my face every morning for three months before I am allowed to have an opinion about whether it works.

That feels less like skincare and more like a test of personal character.

I don’t remember signing up for a character test. I remember signing up for visible results.

I’m going to finish the jar though.

I’ve come this far and I have absolutely nothing else to show for the last three weeks.

The Point That Isn’t The Point

The cream isn’t really the point.

We all buy the cream. Not literally but we all reach for the thing that promises transformation without the boring part.

The supplement, the planner, the course, the app. Purchased with hope, applied with enthusiasm, quietly abandoned when results fail to appear on our preferred timeline.

The label always says visibly.

The small print always says results may vary.

I’m still aging.

At least now I’m doing it with extremely moisturised skin.