Filtering Out The Positive - How Anxiety Warps Your Perception Of Reality
Anxiety isn’t who you are; it’s something you experience.
Have you ever had that nagging feeling?
That sense that even if things seem okay on the surface, something is just… off?
Or good news comes your way, a compliment, a small win, and for a fleeting second, you feel good, but then another thought rushes in and washes it away.
If that sounds familiar, you're not imagining things. It’s a common trick anxiety can play on our minds.
It’s not about being ungrateful or a pessimist.
It’s more like our brains sometimes develop this unhelpful habit, a filter that seems intent on highlighting what’s wrong, what’s missing, or what could go wrong, while letting all the good stuff slip through the cracks.
When Your Mind Becomes a Negativity Magnet
Let’s think about someone, say, Mark.
Mark’s a capable guy, generally does well in his work, and has people who care about him.
One day, he gives a presentation he’s worked hard on. Afterwards, nine colleagues told him it was insightful and helpful.
One person, however, glanced at their phone a couple of times during his talk.
What does Mark focus on?
You guessed it.
The one person who seemed distracted.
The nine positive comments?
They’re almost immediately dismissed. "Oh, they’re just being nice," he might think. Or, "They probably didn't want to say anything critical."
The positive feedback doesn't stick.
Another day, Mark finishes a challenging task.
For a brief moment, he feels a sense of accomplishment.
But then, almost instantly, his mind chimes in: "Well, that took you long enough." Or, "You got lucky with that one; the next one will probably be a disaster."
It’s as if his mind has a special talent for finding the single cloud in an otherwise sunny sky, effectively warping his perception of how things are.
Is It Reality, Or Is It the Filter?
It’s easy to believe these skewed thoughts are an accurate reflection of reality, isn’t it?
After all, they feel so real, so convincing.
But what if, just what if, it's not the entire truth of the situation, but the filter through which we view it?
I’ve noticed in my own life how easy it is to fall into this pattern.
You achieve something, and instead of allowing yourself to feel that sense of satisfaction, your mind is already racing ahead to the next potential problem or minimizing what you’ve just done.
It’s like our brains are wired for a threat-detection system that sometimes is a little too lively, especially when anxiety is in the driver's seat.
It's not about denying that challenges exist, but about whether we give them more weight and airtime than they deserve.
The First Step to Clarity
For Mark, things started to turn around when he consciously began to notice this pattern.
He didn't know a technical name for it, but he recognized what his mind was doing.
"It's like my brain just doesn't want to let good news in," he reflected one day, after automatically downplaying a significant achievement.
He started to see how this constant filtering out the positives wasn't just making him anxious; it was distorting his view of his abilities, relationships, and life.
It was like wearing glasses that only showed him the smudges and scratches, never the full, clear view.
He could see this wasn't helping him; it was keeping him in a loop of worry and self-doubt.
A Small Experiment in Letting Good Things Land
So, Mark decided to try an experiment.
Not to force himself into fake positivity, that wasn't the goal.
But to see if he could allow a positive moment, or a piece of genuine praise, to just… land.
To sit with it for a moment longer before his mind tried to snatch it away or explain it away.
When he got a compliment, instead of his usual "Oh, it was nothing," he’d try a simple, "Thank you. I appreciate that."
Internally, if his mind started its usual "they're just being polite" routine, he’d gently challenge it: "Okay, maybe they are.
But what if they mean it? What if this is a good thing?"
It wasn't about arguing with his anxiety, but more about making space for another possibility, a more balanced perspective.
"Is my mind helping me see the whole picture right now, or is it just zooming in on that one speck of dust?"
A More Balanced Picture
Mark began to feel different.
He didn't suddenly become anxiety-free; that’s not how it works.
But he became more aware of his mind's filtering out the good. And with that awareness came more choice.
He appreciated that he could acknowledge positive events, genuine compliments, and his achievements without his mind immediately invalidating them.
His reality hadn’t changed, but his perception of it became less warped, more balanced.
He could still see the clouds, sure, but he also started to notice and feel the sunshine more often.
The grip of that negative filter started to loosen, just a little.
What about you? Do you ever notice your mind trying to filter out the positive or downplay good things?
And that’s it for now! "A big thank you for reading this far - it means a lot to me. 😊 If you found this helpful and believe someone else could too, I'd be grateful if you shared or liked it. It really makes a difference in helping others find it. 💌"
Brad