How I Stopped Trying To 'Fix' Myself
And Actually Got Somewhere
Three months ago, I had seventeen self-help books on my nightstand.
I'm not exaggerating. I counted them one morning while feeling particularly overwhelmed about my lack of progress despite all this... effort.
There were four different habit-tracking apps on my phone, a morning routine that took longer than most people's commutes, and this growing sense that I was failing at being human.
The Sunday Planning Ritual
Every Sunday, I'd sit down with my planner like I was mapping out a military operation.
Monday: 5 AM wake-up, meditation, journaling, cold shower, gratitude practice. Tuesday: Add in that new productivity method from YouTube. Wednesday: Try to incorporate the latest mindset shift from whatever podcast everyone was obsessing over.
You know how this goes, right?
By Thursday, I'd usually cracked under the weight of all those expectations.
By Friday, I was googling "why can't I stick to anything" and bookmarking another course on self-discipline.
The Moment Everything Clicked
The breaking point came on a random Tuesday morning.
I was sitting there with my habit tracker, trying to remember if I'd done my gratitude practice or just thought about doing it. Then I realized something ridiculous: I was spending more time tracking my habits than actually living them.
I'd become so busy trying to optimize myself that I'd forgotten who I was underneath all these systems.
That's when I did something that felt radical at the time.
I stopped.
What Stopping Actually Looked Like
Not stopped trying to grow - just stopped treating myself like a broken appliance that needed constant upgrading.
I put the habit trackers in a drawer. Deleted the apps. Stacked those seventeen books in a box under my bed where they couldn't stare at me accusingly every morning.
For two weeks, I just existed. Woke up when I felt like it. Ate when I was hungry. Worked on things that mattered to me instead of things I thought I should be working on.
Nothing dramatic happened.
No lightning bolt moment or life-changing epiphany. But something quieter started shifting.
The Unexpected Discovery
I began noticing what I wanted versus what I thought I should want.
Started paying attention to what gave me energy instead of what drained it. Stopped asking "How can I optimize this?" and started asking "Does this feel right?"
The irony wasn't lost on me.
Months of trying to fix myself, and I wasn't even broken. I was just drowning in everyone else's solutions to problems I wasn't sure I had.
How Things Are Now
Don't get me wrong - I still read books and listen to podcasts. The difference is I'm not treating them like medicine for some imaginary illness anymore.
Some days I meditate. Some days I don't. Some days I journal for thirty minutes. Other days, I just think while I'm walking and call it good enough.
The funny thing? I'm making more progress now than when I was obsessively tracking everything.
My writing flows better because I'm not forcing it into someone else's formula. I sleep better because I'm not stressed about whether I've checked all my self-improvement boxes for the day.
The Thing Nobody Tells You
Here's what I wish someone had mentioned a couple of years ago: You don't need to be fixed because you're probably not broken.
You don't need seventeen strategies because simple always works better than complicated.
And you don't need to turn your entire life into a productivity experiment.
Sometimes the best thing you can do for your growth is to stop growing for a minute and just be where you are: Stand still and take stock.
The person you're trying to become through all these systems? They're a lot closer to who you already are than you think.
What's one thing you've been trying to "fix" about yourself that might not need fixing?