Shake the legs. Pull-up the legs. Check for leg cramps put leg down. Immediately. Roll foot. Stretch calf muscles. Slowly sit up legs over the bed to floor. Do some drops Over legs. Stretch back. Then Stand. Stabilize with one hand on a dresser. Then find your your way to the potty. Then hobble to kitchen for your cheap pain meds. And later realize five am is when you should have made the coffee. But no. Your lower lumber. Is screaming now. And a good sleep is impossible. Fucking life. But it’s all fine. I ain’t dead yet.
Roll neck and listen to Rice Crispies crack from neck fusion. If no stinging pain, move to lower back.
Stretch like my cat to see if any lingering tightness from the two lower back spinal fusions. If all the titanium and screws feel okay, next check.
Roll the left foot to check on ankle that was shattered during a racquetball game when I climbed the wall for a shot and came down on the side of it.
Check the knees to see if they bend after a dozen years of being beaten up behind the plate.
Check the right rotator cuff for the injury that never really healed.
Dare to put a foot on the ground, then stand in a scorching-hot shower for about 15 minutes in hopes of loosening up all the aches and pains I now call normal.
Then, if all checks out, we can start the coffee pot and put on our wrist brace from a failed carpal tunnel surgery to start cranking out my daily 10,000 words.
Wow that’s a serious injury list. I don’t envy you one bit.. you sound a bit like the six million dollar man. Seriously though you’ve been through some shit. 😊
Just to prove to myself that I could get up off the floor with no help from a couch or anything else outside myself, I did, but I had to push off my right knee to get fully upright. My knee bitched for 2 days. I had to take ibuprofen.
It has forgiven me today. Just a slIght pain I would gauge at 1 to let me know not to do that again. However, I don't know how to get up if I don't push off that 81 yr old knee.
“This could be me speaking — the morning negotiations with body parts, the quiet humour in noticing what once went unnoticed. Beautifully written and painfully familiar. I felt every line of this. The wobbly trolley wheel is such a perfect metaphor for the body’s gentle rebellion — and the grace of learning to move with it.”
Yes indeed, I just got up, that was me too in the distant past. That’s a remarkably accurate assessment of the morning routine , made me laugh!
Especially because I’ve just ordered a bottle opener for plastic caps, not because I have weak arthritic hands as it states but because trying to get one off hurts my messed up neck.
Neck injury from water bottle opening, wouldn’t have guessed that 20 years ago.
The bed routine sounds familiar, mine is a little shorter. My main one is the first rise; is my head swimming a lot or a little. If I have to catch myself, it's going to be a rough day, just a little woozy, it'll pass. 😀
Ha ha - I must confess that I have beaten both my knees into submission by trading them in for 2 new ones. Such an improvement. I can now windsurf 🏄♀️
You know what we need is a manual on the Joys of Getting Older. That would be a great product for you Brad, with your humour!
😅 oh yes, a linear proportional relation [ y∝x ] between ageing and lowering the threshold for definition of "good"...
I think I grasp that 😬
Something engineers think about...
The older the OS, the longer the boot time. 😅
I pulled my right shoulder just sitting the other day. We're not the Tin Man, but we sure as sh*t rust like him!
Yeah very accurate lol
Shake the legs. Pull-up the legs. Check for leg cramps put leg down. Immediately. Roll foot. Stretch calf muscles. Slowly sit up legs over the bed to floor. Do some drops Over legs. Stretch back. Then Stand. Stabilize with one hand on a dresser. Then find your your way to the potty. Then hobble to kitchen for your cheap pain meds. And later realize five am is when you should have made the coffee. But no. Your lower lumber. Is screaming now. And a good sleep is impossible. Fucking life. But it’s all fine. I ain’t dead yet.
I have to go pee first. Can’t manage anything until after lol. I’d still rather go through this than the alternative 😬
Yup.
😀
My morning check:
Roll neck and listen to Rice Crispies crack from neck fusion. If no stinging pain, move to lower back.
Stretch like my cat to see if any lingering tightness from the two lower back spinal fusions. If all the titanium and screws feel okay, next check.
Roll the left foot to check on ankle that was shattered during a racquetball game when I climbed the wall for a shot and came down on the side of it.
Check the knees to see if they bend after a dozen years of being beaten up behind the plate.
Check the right rotator cuff for the injury that never really healed.
Dare to put a foot on the ground, then stand in a scorching-hot shower for about 15 minutes in hopes of loosening up all the aches and pains I now call normal.
Then, if all checks out, we can start the coffee pot and put on our wrist brace from a failed carpal tunnel surgery to start cranking out my daily 10,000 words.
It's a glorious life, lol.
Wow that’s a serious injury list. I don’t envy you one bit.. you sound a bit like the six million dollar man. Seriously though you’ve been through some shit. 😊
But I still play golf, still work out every day, and obviously still write. I am like a cockroach... They will never kill me, lol.
I think you do pretty well. Although….just a thought, if it was me I would probably choose a different creature for comparison 😀
Just going with my theme, lol.
lol
Just to prove to myself that I could get up off the floor with no help from a couch or anything else outside myself, I did, but I had to push off my right knee to get fully upright. My knee bitched for 2 days. I had to take ibuprofen.
It has forgiven me today. Just a slIght pain I would gauge at 1 to let me know not to do that again. However, I don't know how to get up if I don't push off that 81 yr old knee.
Yeah it’s very bad when this happens it slows everything down and not to mention the pain
“This could be me speaking — the morning negotiations with body parts, the quiet humour in noticing what once went unnoticed. Beautifully written and painfully familiar. I felt every line of this. The wobbly trolley wheel is such a perfect metaphor for the body’s gentle rebellion — and the grace of learning to move with it.”
Thank you. You’re very kind 😊
Loved this so much and so relatable! I laughed out loud several times!! 💚
Thank you that’s very kind
Yes indeed, I just got up, that was me too in the distant past. That’s a remarkably accurate assessment of the morning routine , made me laugh!
Especially because I’ve just ordered a bottle opener for plastic caps, not because I have weak arthritic hands as it states but because trying to get one off hurts my messed up neck.
Neck injury from water bottle opening, wouldn’t have guessed that 20 years ago.
No I guess that wouldn’t have been top of my list either 😊
The bed routine sounds familiar, mine is a little shorter. My main one is the first rise; is my head swimming a lot or a little. If I have to catch myself, it's going to be a rough day, just a little woozy, it'll pass. 😀
The things we have to cope with daily. And I didn’t sign up for any of them 😂
This post has all the feels. Literally. I'm sitting on the deck wondering if I need a butt cushion, a back cushion, or Ibuprofen. Or maybe all three.
I don’t own my body anymore. It resides in the Old Folks storage facility and they keep raising the rent.
Ha ha - I must confess that I have beaten both my knees into submission by trading them in for 2 new ones. Such an improvement. I can now windsurf 🏄♀️
You know what we need is a manual on the Joys of Getting Older. That would be a great product for you Brad, with your humour!