I made a rule last month.
No coffee after 3 PM. My doctor suggested it after I mentioned the whole “lying awake until 2 AM” situation.
Now I drink it at 2:59.
The rule seemed smart when I made it.
I’ll sleep better, feel better, be a functional human.
You know standard stuff. It seemed like a brilliant plan.
2:59 PM isn’t after 3 PM.
It’s before. A complete minute before.
If I start drinking then and it takes ten minutes to finish, well, I started on time. What happens after is momentum.
One of the girls from accounting saw me standing by the coffee maker at 2:56 last Tuesday.
Just waiting there.
“You good?”
“Yep.”
She walked away shaking her head, which is fair. I often have that effect on people who were expecting normal human conversation.
I brew the coffee at 2:55. Takes about four minutes. I’m not starting at 2:59 when I’ve already planned this out.
The break room clock runs fast. Checked it against my phone three times. Two minutes ahead on Monday, three minutes on Wednesday. So I go by my phone now. Satellites don’t lie.
Tried a 2 PM cutoff once. One day. Turns out 1:59 PM exists and I spotted that loophole immediately.
This is discipline though, right?
I’m waiting. Showing restraint.
I could grab coffee at 3:15 like rules don’t apply to me. But I don’t. I wait.
By 11 PM I’m wide awake staring at the ceiling.
I never took notice before but it has this bumpy texture. Sort of like cottage cheese. My brain refuses to stop.
Did I send that email? Is the fridge normally this loud? Why is everything so loud?
Can’t break the rule though.
If I break it, then there’s a problem. There’s no problem. Just my system.
My doctor asked about caffeine during my last visit. I told her I quit after 3 PM.
She nodded. “Good discipline.”
I didn’t mention the 2:59 thing. Why complicate it? I’m following her rule. Sort of.
My entire afternoon revolves around one minute now.
It’s probably not healthy. But it’s punctual.
I just finished mine at 4:30, which means that — luckily — I'm quite resilient on coffee; I was nervous, went out to get something delicious from the bakery and some 2k steps in, colouring my senses by looking at those fancy autumn leaves. Now less nervous.
I also can have a little espresso after dinner, to then sleep like a bear, or not, but if so, for another reason.
Honestly used to drink coffee right before bed and then sleep like the dead. Those days are gone. 😕